Since Sunday Aurora has been poorly, it seems like a strange bug that has zapped most of her energy, taken away her appetite, and made her sick a little, once each day. It started Sunday morning, we had a party planned for all the NCT babies, as they all turned 3 in November/December, but with that time of year being a little hectic, we waited until now and booked out an entire soft play for them. Of course, with 10 children between our 6 families, it was inevitable that someone would be hit with some sort of illness, and in fact on the day we had two who were unfortunately not well enough to come, one OG and one of our ‘2nd Wave’ babies, who had to stay at home with their daddies. So, when Aurora didn’t seem quite herself, I instantly thought, ‘Noooooooo!!! It can’t be US!!’
We got there and she was playing happily with her friends, running and jumping around as if nothing had happened, but then towards the last half hour, she came and curled up under my scarf, on a chair, and kept saying she was cold – even though she felt boiling. Long story short, she stood up and was sick everywhere just as we were leaving.
Since then, it has been the same pattern each day, wakes up a bit iffy, has a little sick, gets better throughout the morning and early afternoon, completely flakes late afternoon and then the last two nights she has gone to bed at 5pm! And slept through until 7.30am!! Suffering from something, but just difficult to tell what. She had a temperature on the first 2 days, but since then it has dropped.
It’s so horrid to see your little ones poorly. They seem so helpless. You FEEL so helpless. Calpol and cuddles seems to be the only thing I can offer. But I remember when I was younger, if I felt poorly, all I ever wanted was a cuddle from my mum, and for her to look after me. In fact – even at 35, there are times when I wish I still lived with her, or close by, so she could look after me, make me a tea and give me a cuddle. So, I love thinking that that is (hopefully) how Aurora, and Luna, will feel towards me.
Yesterday I had arranged to meet my wonderful friend Kyle for a walk at Stourhead. It was beautiful weather, although a little cold first thing, when the sun was shining it was glorious. I was unsure whether it was sensible to take Aurora out, as she was still not 100%, but decided that getting some fresh air would do her some good. Also, I really didn’t want to postpone our catch up, so there actually was no other option! It was such good soul food. I think I have decided that walking chats with friends might be one of my favourite methods. It is so easy to just pour everything out, whilst wondering around the gorgeous surroundings, getting exercise and fresh air, all at the same time. Now it was less easy to talk freely with a toddler that either wanted to walk at 1mph, or be carried, and whinged for almost the entire walk. But we found a few nice benches to sit on, and she could have a rest and build up the energy she needed to walk another 5 meters, before being carried again. Imagine being carried and then still having the audacity to complain that you’re tired. She does not know she’s born, that girl.
I love hearing about all of Kyle’s accomplishments and plans for the next few months, and generally love his outlook on life. I think we see things in a similar way. Believing that everything happens for a reason and fate will guide you the way you are meant to go. Even if you make big decisions to change something drastic in your life, you’re still not stepping off of the path that you’re meant to be on.
I have always felt this way, and it does make it easier to cope with situations that may be more difficult to digest. Of course, it’s usually only easier to see and understand this once some time has passed, looking back at it, but there is usually a lesson or two to take from everything, and if not, then I believe you will meet someone in your life that has been through something similar, or may even be currently living it, and you sharing your story, will help them. I like to have a positive outlook and optimistic view on everything if I can.
Kyle has started his own tidying and cleaning business, our own Somerset Marie Kondo, and I just love it! It would be my absolute dream! I love organisation (for those that may not already know!) and almost NEED to have everything in its place. Until now, it’s always been a bit of an ongoing joke, but I think it may go a little deeper than me just having an organised handbag. A friend once joked that even the contents of my bin would be organised. Another found it hilarious that I keep a lot of my jewellery and perfumes in the boxes they came in. Doesn’t everyone?
I always remember, when I lived at home, that my remote control had to be in the same place, and my dressing table mirror had to be bent at the exact right angle, so that I saw the same reflection. I joked that I was ‘a bit OCD’, not realising what a serious condition that is. But now that I have a whole house, and not just the little box bedroom, my habits and quirks have multiplied.
For instance, I have all the girls, Luke’s and my books in rainbow colour order, and then arranged by size (thank you The Home Edit), the toy box is like a real life Tetris with everything slotted in to it’s little place, and anything that has lots of pieces E.G. the building blocks, the puzzles, the doctors kit etc, I know exactly how many pieces are in each one and I’ll count them back in when packing away. That way I know if we have a rogue piece of Duplo somewhere that needs finding…!
I must be one of the only mums that really does not encourage their children to help tidy up, as I want to do it myself.
It is 100% rubbing off on Aurora. She comments when ‘Daddy’s shoes aren’t in the cupboard’, or a toy is in the wrong place. Her Pre School teacher spoke to me at the gate during one pick up, and said, ‘She’s getting on really well, she’s really confident, but not too loud. She is very particular and knows what she likes… She just made a circle with all the little teddy bear toys, and she wouldn’t let the blue ones in!’ Now I do think that is funny, but I pray I’m not creating a monster! Hopefully it will just carry on as her being neat and organised where necessary – because she can turn it off and make an absolute mess when she wants to!
It’s something I’ve noticed in her from when she was just over a year old. In our old house, we had a big play pen up for her. Some of the rubber feet had come off and were in between the pen and the sofa, for weeks. I never brought any attention to them, but also didn’t move them because of where they were – it would involve moving the entire sofa. Eventually though, I picked them up and put them on the side, whilst she was napping one day. When she came back downstairs, she went straight over to them, picked them up, and went and put them back on the floor in between the pen and the sofa again, as if that is where they should go, because that is where she had obviously seen them!
When it comes to my organising, it is not just the end goal of everything being in its place, it’s the process of getting it there. Some of Aurora’s magnetic blocks, have to be placed back in the box in such a precise way, so they fit, that I enjoy the process of achieving that. The same goes for folding all my clothes so they stand up like little parcels in my drawers (thank you Marie Kondo) and colour coding all my hanging garments in my wardrobe. The process is calming to me, my brain can switch off, and I enjoy the journey. I think that’s why I enjoy knitting, something I have not had time to do in the past year or two but am determined to get back into this year. You can switch your brain almost completely off, your hands know what they’re doing, and by the end, you have created something beautiful. At work, I love doing the more mundane tasks, the jobs that most other people complain about, but it is almost like ‘on the job’ meditation. The brain can rest, the hands can work, and the task is complete.
Sometimes I can see that I am going too far, especially when it comes to the girls toys. Aurora has a pack of (52) pirate matching cards and as I was packing them away the other night, I was turning them so they were all the right way up. Now honestly what is the point, when she is just going to shake them out, from a height, next time she plays with them. But it made me happy doing it, and it’s making me happy now knowing that they are all in their little box, facing the same way.
Now don’t get me wrong, this does not mean that I am a clean freak, or can’t have anything an inch out of place. The kitchen is sometimes still a mess and there are piles of washing that need to be put away. Housework seems to constantly be at the bottom of my to-do list as I find it impossible to prioritise it above the girls – and also don’t want to – and once they’re in bed I can think of many things I would rather do than clean the bathrooms, mainly sitting on the sofa and drinking a hot cup of tea! It is almost as if the more pointless the organisation, the more compelled I am to do it. I think it is my control freak nature – being a parent, especially to two strong minded princesses, you lose a lot of the control that you were used to having. You can have your routines and stick to them as well as you can, but these little ones have the ability to flip everything upside down, in a second, and there is nothing you can do other than accept it, and act accordingly. Like Aurora’s illness this week, maybe that’s why I’ve noticed my organising more than usual… I think if I can control these menial things, then I feel like I have some order in my life, and that makes the chaos manageable.
It was only in talking about all this yesterday, and having it validated, as well as writing it down now, that I realise there could be more to it. Luke has a saying in the Kitchen, ‘Messy bench, Messy mind’ and I totally agree with that. Chaos around you almost always means there’s chaos within. So, the more calm and clear I can keep my home and surroundings, the more calm and clear my mind shall be.
I’m glad that I wrote this last night with the view of adding any last-minute bits I wanted today, because after dropping Aurora at Pre School at 1pm, I had a phone call at 1.23pm to say she had been sick. So I had to pick her up, and she obviously can’t go in tomorrow either, then it’s half term – so a nice long break for her! Really hope she starts feeling better soon.
We are now going to snuggle on the sofa, with Luna as well, and watch Disney+ all afternoon.
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I hope your snuggles were the tonic Aurora needed and she's now on the mend. And I knew you were a tidy, organised bunny, but I had no idea you were THAT organised. Hmm, perhaps I should hire you to introduce some order into our chaotic home! 😉