What a difference a few days, and a new mindset, can make!
On Sunday, I was set to officially rename the day ‘Sore Throat Sundays’, as they have by far become the ‘shouty’ day of the week. As I have said before, it’s the worst day of the week for me. But am I making that the case, by feeling that way? Am I pre-empting the difficulties, therefore snapping quicker, having less patience, and generally being less happy than I am on any other day.
I should have written down details on the day as I did before, as I now cannot remember any. But I know that it was carnage. That’s for sure.
I feel like up until this point in my life, I have heard the phrase ‘It’s like herding cats’, and never thought much of it. But I have never resonated with a saying more than that one right now. Just when you feel like you have one child under control, you turn around and the other is emptying the contents of a draw, or heading straight towards the toilet brush (why Luna? Why!?)
The production that goes on between 6.30-7pm in my house each night is comedic. Both girls going in opposite directions, neither of which are the one they’re meant to be going in. Luna is so quick, and inquisitive, she wants to open every single draw she can find and empty it at lightning speed.
Aurora wants to go into every single room except the bathroom. Play with every single toy, except for the one that she actually wanted to play with (Duplo at the moment) so will then have a break down before getting in the bath because she forgot to play with it.
Aurora doesn’t like getting in the bath at the moment. Luna doesn’t like getting out.
We eventually get through that circus, and then it’s shepherding them back into Aurora’s room for a story, once again, every room is visited, every draw is opened, and I am only 2 steps behind them. I need 3 pairs of hands!
Aurora had been so good at going to bed, I’d read them both a story while feeding Luna, say goodnight to Aurora, and then go and continue feeding Luna in my room and Aurora would go to sleep. She may read a few books, listen to her storyteller, or just sing to her teddies, but she was pretty content. Yet, suddenly, she has started saying that it is scary, and that there are monsters in her clothes (she has an open rail in the alcove of her room) We have talked through it all with her, and we leave her lamp on, so she can see. I had a big talk the other night about how monsters aren’t real, and asked if she was pretending, and she said yes. Then I asked if she had seen them, and she said yes. So, thinking that she has maybe had some bad dreams, I told her to think of things that made her happy, and then she would dream about them instead, so we settled on ice cream, bubbles, and swimming pools.
It’s always a bit more chaotic on nights when Luke is here as I think she gets over excited that he’s at home, and also has the benefit of him being able to either stay with her while I feed Luna, or run around fulfilling her night time requests for water, then milk, then a book, then a different book, then her storyteller, then her sock to be put back on etc etc. He will also climb into her bed with her, when she requests, and 9 times out of 10, fall asleep in there. I then have to go and extract him, once Luna is down. If I didn’t, I think he would probably sleep the entire night in there.
She also figured out how to open her gate on her bedroom door on Sunday night, so that was fun. She kept appearing halfway down the stairs, a real novelty! The gate has now been tied shut, and hopefully she will forget she knows how to open it and will start staying in bed again.
Tonight, was the first night back on my own, after Luke’s days off, and she actually went down really well. Fingers crossed it was just a little blip, amplified by the clock change and Daddy being home.
My sleep has been incredibly broken recently, as Luna is still waking a lot and not always settling as easily as she used to. So either it has taken a long time, or more often than not, she has just ended up in our bed with us. One night I brought her in, around 4am, and then shortly after that Aurora also woke up, so Luke went in with her, and Luna and I had the King all to ourselves. She definitely seemed to sleep better. Another night she came in from about 1am, and seemed to only stir once more, but latched and settled herself, so slept really well, which is obviously great – but I don’t feel like I sleep that well with her there. I’m so conscious of her. Worried she will either fall out, or wiggle under the cover, or whatever else, so it is not a restful sleep for me, but I’m glad she enjoyed it.
She cut another tooth today and is so close to walking that I am sure they are the reasons. She did 10 steps the other day, but it is still largely lead by her head. Not as steady as she needs to be, but so close. She is getting so confident at standing, so I know it won’t be long, and in the blink of an eye she will be running around, with Aurora and I won’t be able to remember life before that.
Anyway, in comparison to Sunday, another stressed, long day ending in frayed tempers and a big glass of wine – today has been the most beautiful day. We were up and out relatively early (for us! 9.30am) and met my friend Kyle at a coffee shop, that has a ‘Mini Town’ for the kids to play in. We enjoyed our coffee and cake and began to catch up. Aurora sat so nicely enjoying hers too, and watching all the other people. Luna was a little fussy and wanted to be cuddled, but I don’t mind that at all. Then we made our way to the Mini Town, which I’m sure for Kyle, who doesn’t have children and quite openly doesn’t like them – was a little overwhelming. But it was so sweet!
The girls played so nicely, and after a little while the other families in there left, so we had the entire place to ourselves. Aurora was dressing up in the different costumes, Luna was thoroughly enjoying making as much noise as humanly possible. There was a little Vets, a kitchen, a Fire Station, a Supermarket, a Beauticians, and Fancy Dress shop, a Nursery and a Library, and it kept them entertained for hours. I think they would have stayed there all day if I had suggested it. It’s so lovely to see their imaginations at work – obviously more Aurora, as Luna was quite happy diving in to my handbag without me realising and chomping down on my 1st class stamps. Sorry, do you know how much they cost? We had to re-mortgage the house.
So that was lovely. Then Kyle gave us 2 huge bags of craft bits he had cleared out from his old house, so we got home, unpacked it all, and spent the whole afternoon in a creative mess. Stamping and colouring, cutting, and sticking. Aurora’s favourite part of it all was a massive selection of post-it notes, that she kept calling ‘Thank you notes’ and was sticking them to anything and everything (including me, of course) and saying thank you when she did. It was so sweet.
I think what made this afternoon so special, was the fact that Luna had a 3-hour nap. That sounds awful, as I obviously love it when she is awake and with us, but I don’t ever get any 1-on-1 time with Aurora any more. I miss it so much, and I think she probably does too, but can’t articulate that. It was so lovely. We were giggling about silly things, she was pulling funny faces, really enjoying each other’s company. Whereas if Luna was awake, we aren’t able to do much ‘crafty’ projects, as she can’t join in.
Everything I read before having a second baby said, carve out special time with your first born, just you and them, as it will be so rewarding. But when am I meant to? We have 30-45 mins each morning all together, but we are shovelling breakfast and coffee in to all of our faces then. Luna’s naps have been getting shorter and shorter so she usually manages 2 x 30 mins. The first one is when I then shower and get Aurora and myself dressed. The second, if we are blessed with one at all, I do try and play with Aurora, undistracted, but usually it is around 4.00-4.30pm, so I need to start prepping dinner, or quickly get some washing in, or do a little bit of cleaning – so that doesn’t always happen.
Luke and I only get one day a fortnight together, with the girls. So, I equally don’t want to carve out any time on that one day, for just Aurora and me, as I think it is more important to spend that time all together. It’s Aurora’s favourite thing and she asks every single morning, without fail, if we are spending that day all together. It’s heart breaking that on 13 out of 14 days, we have to say no.
I’m hoping that Luna will start to transition now in to more of a long lunch time nap, as apposed to 2 x short naps that usually need a little (or a lot of) persuading. Aurora used to be pretty consistent with a 12-2pm nap almost every day. It was great. I could eat lunch peacefully, watch something I wanted to on TV, get bits done around the house – maybe even have a little nap myself. That is all hilarious to think of, now that there are two. But it would be helpful, and then I could have some special ‘Aurora time’ while she sleeps.
Yesterday we went to a Trade Show (on our 1 family day in this fortnight) with Luke, as he did a demonstration to show dishes and ingredients that they work with in his restaurant, and to also promote The Clockspire a bit more, to a wider audience. It was really good fun, a lot smaller than the shows Luke and I used to go to, which were in Earls Court and Olympia London, for example. But it was nice for him and his colleague to meet lots of different suppliers and talk about their restaurant. But more than that, it was so lovely for the girls to really see what he does, talking in front of a room full of people, preparing a dish for them all to try. I don’t think Aurora quite appreciated that she ate pine cured Loch Duart Salmon, with a cucumber garnish and foraged pine oil. But she liked it. My favourite part was when Luke was prepping the salmon and she then asked ‘Oh, where’s his face gone?’ Whoops… But everyone loved seeing them there and I think it’s really special for people to witness a successful chef have a great family unit, and it was equally great for us to go and support what he does. We will forever be his biggest cheer leaders after all.
I have reached the end of today with such a warm and happy feeling in my heart. I’m going to try and encapsulate this and channel it every Sunday morning. I don’t want any more sore throats. I want to feel this happy every day. Most days I do, but the days I get frustrated, I seem to forget that, and can only focus on that exact moment, and how much I could quite happily punch one of them. It’s inevitable that I feel this way after 2 days of Luke being at home and today being my first day back to it alone. I’ll see how this mood transitions as the week progresses!
Highlights of the week
Receiving very positive news from my new boss at work after our meeting.
Receiving a long-awaited letter that has taken a huge weight off of my shoulders and I feel like I can now fully relax again.
Going to the bike ramps with Aurora and watching her riding her little balance bike on them like the daredevil that she is.
Completing my first unit of my Interior Design course. So excited for where this will lead, and what I will learn.
Rearranging all of my decorative bits and pieces on all my shelves, so that everything is in a new place, it feels as though I have a room full of new things.
We swapped a lot of the toys we had out, with some we had in the loft, so the girls are excited by them, as again, they seem new. Also getting all of our 12-18 month clothes down for Luna, I cannot believe that she is almost 1. This seems like such a big jump now. Some of the clothes we got out, I feel as though Aurora has only just stopped wearing them, but obviously 2 years have passed since. It just feels like it was 4 seconds ago. I blinked… Damn it!
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