Sunday was my first Mother’s Day with little Luna, as a mum of two. Throughout last week I had had little drips of cards and gifts, Aurora had coloured in a picture of a vase of flowers with a printed message on the back, from Pre School. My mum had the girls on Friday, while I worked, and got them to make the most gorgeous hand print framed picture with a beautiful poem that made me cry. Aurora then also bought home a candle holder she had painted and decorated, and on the day itself I had a lovely card and a personalised story book all about me, and my life with Luke and the girls, that I can read to them at bedtimes.
Luke had to work the day itself, as expected, so we had about an hour in the morning all together, and then he wasn’t home again until 9pm.
I didn’t really know what to do with the day, but as the sun was shining, I decided that a walk to the park would be the best choice. It was lovely, Luna is so desperate to walk, she’s getting more and more confident at standing, and today managed to get to 4 steps a couple of times. We all went on the swings and the girls went on a little see-saw, they have started playing so nicely together and I am so excited for when they can run and chase each other and play properly. Maybe another 6 months or so?
There were a couple of points in the day where Aurora still got upset about things, or frustrated at others, and in my head I thought, ‘it’s Mother’s Day – don’t do this’, but instantly stopped myself from saying it out loud as I realised just how much pressure that is to put on a 3 year old. And at the end of the day, she is not responsible for how my day is, only I am.
She was really sweet for most of it though, and as we were walking back from the park she kept saying ‘Happy Mother’s Day’ to me. She did then also say it to a parked car though, so I can’t feel too special.
We’ve had a vast improvement with her going in to Pre School, since I last posted. She has gone in with no hesitation, just as she always had before this little blip. Hopefully that means it was nothing to worry about. Fingers crossed she still wants to go after having 2 weeks off for Easter next month.
When Luke collected her on Monday her teacher told him that she has developed a really lovely friendship with one of the little girls, which is really sweet to hear.
I have taken the first step with my Interior Design dream and signed up to a course. I received all the content yesterday so will jump in to that tomorrow, I am super excited to get stuck in. It has already sparked loads of ideas for our current house and other than the financial strain, I’m desperate to start getting things ticked off our list.
That’s one thing that I feel like people don’t warn you about before you have children. How on earth do you decorate or renovate or even just get something down from the loft, with children running around? It’s all very well thinking that we can strip a room and paint and decorate it, but it is impossible with 2 little beans trying to get in to everything. So really only one of you can do any of the work at any one time, making the job take twice as long, if not longer, and it not being so much of a joint project, but more of a tag team relay.
Even the smallest of jobs, like putting new shelves in the airing cupboard, seem to stay in the ‘ideas’ stage because I just cannot fathom how to cut wood, drill holes, clean up the mess etc with them both in the house. Jobs like this can’t really be done while Luna naps, as they involve loud tools and the airing cupboard is a maximum of 2 metres from her cot. Maybe I’m making too many excuses just to get out of doing it. Maybe I should plan to do it one Friday when Aurora is at Pre School, and then I only have one baby to navigate, and worst case scenario she can be behind a stair gate or in her cot for those necessary points.
That is only one of the jobs though. Some can be done while they are in bed as they are quieter jobs. Maybe once the clocks change and hopefully the weather starts to improve, I will feel more motivated to get more done in the evenings. From the months of October – March I enjoy nothing more than being underneath multiple blankets, on the sofa, watching TV and doing almost nothing else.
Spring is when I’ll start. I’ll have to make a list – what a shame. I’ll list all the jobs that Luke and I would like to accomplish and start ticking them off.
Luke bought the girls, and his mum, to Teal’s for lunch yesterday while I was working there. It was so lovely to have them in, I love being able to show them off to my colleagues, who hear endless stories about them, but rarely get to see them. I also felt this enormous surge of love for them, and I realised that it was because I wasn’t immediately responsible for them at that time. I hadn’t experienced it before as I’ve never been in a situation like that. I am always either solely, or jointly responsible for them, or picking up/dropping off at Pre School. As I’m sure most other parent are. But it was blissful. I recommend it! It was almost the same feeling as when you watch them sleeping, and you could have had the toughest day with them, you could have all ended up in tears, but looking at their beautiful, peaceful, angelic faces as they sleep, is one of the most incredible things to do. Until they suddenly look like they may wake up and then you need to GET OUT of there like the Ninja you were born to be!
I feel like this week has got better in terms of the shouting. There’s definitely been less blow ups, but I would say it has been replaced with annoyance. God toddlers can be so annoying! Why?! Are they sent here to test us? I feel like at times Aurora moves at the speed of light, she has so much energy I cannot pin her down for a second, and then others… she has gotten so slow at doing everything! I feel like it takes us about 3 days to climb the stairs, I have aged by the time we make it to the top. Today she legitimately spent over 15 minutes washing her hands. She did then call out to me that she was drinking from the tap like a puppy, so this is when I stepped back in. Eating dinner (and her 3 requested breakfasts that she has to follow) takes an hour and a half every day. It probably would take longer, but that is when my alarm goes off for bath time.
So instead of feeling frustrated and shouting at her about something, and then feeling horribly guilty afterwards, it’s been replaced with a lot of;
‘Coooommmee ooonnnNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!’
‘Right, last chance!’
‘Do I need to take that away?’
‘THREE, TWO, ONE!’
It’s still not perfect, but I’m going to take it as an improvement none the less!
Highlights of the week
I feel like something has clicked and I understand Aurora a little more than I did even last week.
Luna is getting so close to walking, come on little one!
The brief bits of sunshine we have had in amongst the rain – I even had washing out on the line at one point!
Aurora being obsessed with giving Luna cuddles and kisses, and wanting to help her to walk.
Going in to Aurora’s room after bath time, to find both the girls in her bed, giggling their heads off and Aurora asking if Luna can sleep there for the night. So sweet… but NO! One day soon though, I’m sure.
Luna’s dolphin laugh. It gives me life.
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