Another week has passed, flown by – as usual! We don’t have all that much to show for it, but it’s not always crucial to achieve a lot. Sometimes just getting through is enough of an achievement!!
Our days are definitely seeming calmer. There may still be manic moments, and frantic parts to each day, but all in all, I think we have all relaxed a little, in comparison to the past few months.
The best and most effective move has been repetition, holding boundaries and keeping as calm as possible whilst implementing them. It’s such a ripple effect, yet obviously, if one person is reacting with high emotion, the other person will inevitably match it. It’s Aurora’s and my biggest problem. But in me attempting to stay calmer, she in turn is staying calmer (or at least calming down a lot quicker, if she does become escalated) which keeps me calmer, and so on and so on. Beautiful!
Bedtimes have been going well. We are not completely back to how it was, but we have a good system in place now, and she has been falling asleep closer to 8pm, rather than after 9pm, which had previously been the case.
The options are, if she doesn’t feel tired, then she is able to read or play for longer, but we do not stay in the room. If she wants us to stay in the room, then she is to lie down and go to sleep. Most nights have a variety of both sides to this coin, happy to play/read for a little while, but then she will need the toilet, or say she doesn’t know the words to a book so needs us to read it to her, or something else to that effect. So, then there may be a little bit of going up and down the stairs, to meet these demands. But in repeating the options to her, that I can stay if she wants me to, but we are not reading or playing, just going to sleep.
Getting Daddy to stick to these rules is a little trickier… I’ll see him on the monitor giving in and reading her a few more books because ‘she looked like she might fall asleep’ (she doesn’t) or building her a ‘Pirate Ship’ with blankets tucked in to different parts of her bed. All very cute and impressive, but she gets so overexcited again, and heaven forbid she ever asks me to do the same on a night when Luke isn’t here. I have been told in no uncertain terms that it does NOT go like that Mummy!
Anyway, all in all, it’s getting better, I am getting a little bit more of my evenings back, and on the nights when Luke is here, we are managing to have dinner alone, and even stay awake for a little while afterwards, to somewhat enjoy each other’s company!
We had our anniversary this week. 11 years together and 1 year as husband and wife. We are going to go out for dinner on 1st August, so will use this as our celebration. Fingers crossed the girls will go to bed nicely that night and we can enjoy an entire evening together, just the two of us. It’s been far too long since we have been able to do that.
I love the fact that on every anniversary that Luke and I have had, we reminisce on the years past, discussing our favourite holidays, best memories, and top moments of all time. Each year they change, each year we find different details to cherish, each year there are more to add to our collection. We are lucky to have experienced everything that we already have, and I cannot wait to see everything that is still yet to come. Our little team, travelling, exploring, living, laughing, eating (!!), and thoroughly enjoying our lives together.
We have successfully survived one holiday abroad, with both girls. This has now given us the confidence to plan more. Where will the wind take us next?
Hilariously, I was looking at my data from my Fitbit this morning and saw that 2 weeks ago my average heart rate dramatically dropped from 62 beats per minute, to 56, and is now averaging on 57bpm. I wondered what had happened to make it fall so spectacularly… and that is the day that I made my stress list and started ticking things off of it. The biggest one being that I fitted all the cupboard locks in our kitchen, which has been an absolute game changer. It is incredible to see that it had such a physically positive effect.
I knew I had felt better, mentally, since then. Calmer, clearer, and less stressed. But to see it in black and white, on the graph, was a real insight.
I am legitimately going to adopt this technique in all areas of my life from now on. It seems so simple, but in reality, how many of us keep getting constantly frustrated with the same or similar things, over and over, expecting THEM to change, when we could just make (usually a small) change ourselves, and either eliminate the stress altogether, or dramatically decrease its effect.
At work we have a swing door into the kitchen, that goes both ways, for ease when carrying plates in and out of the restaurant. On Monday, I kicked it open, into the kitchen, and it hit a bin that was behind it. So, I put down the plates I was carrying, moved some brooms along, then the dirty washing bin, shuffled up the recycling bin, and finally moved the bin that was behind the door. My colleague watched me do all of this and started giggling. When I asked why she was laughing, she said, ‘that would have annoyed all of us all day, but you’re the only one who would have actually done something about it!’ Case and point.
I am still yet to make any further moves in regard to getting a cleaner, but I need to get motivated and do it, as I think that will once again take a huge amount of responsibility and stress off of my plate. I keep thinking about other things that I would like to achieve in a day, but my only slither of time to do anything, is usually taken up by doing some piece of housework, albeit begrudgingly. Let’s eliminate – once again!
Highlights of the week this week.
Aurora counted to 30, and then backwards from 10! I don’t even know how she knows that!
Luna’s confidence has grown so much physically. She is climbing EVERYTHING! Luke and I have said, we really need to take them to soft play again, as I’m sure Luna will be able to enjoy it a lot more now that she can use more of the equipment.
Luna has started saying Mama, and a couple of other little words, and animal noises. She is also starting to really follow instructions, which has made her seem so grown up, suddenly!
Aurora is still being really sweet towards Luna, a lot of the time. Helping to feed her, picking her up ALL the time, starting to really play with her, and make her giggle. It is really wonderful to see their bond starting to form, I hope it blossoms into an incredible relationship.
Once again, I’m going to try and make the most of the time I have left this evening, to relax as much as possible, before I’m inevitably called upon for another feed.
Hope you all have a wonderful week.
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