I feel as though I am in a strange place at the moment. Emotionally, mentally, socially, physically, in every different way.
Everyone around me is talking about School Open Days and visits for their little ones, is this something that their nurseries and pre schools suggest and recommend, or have they arranged these completely off their own back. How did they know to start doing it? Why is there not some form of guidebook with the how’s and when’s so that we are all on the same page?
It’s just such a strange time to be planning a move back towards Berkshire as I’m essentially going to have to choose schools locally to where we are now, for Aurora, and then change them when we move, and just hope that we can get into a half decent one, as it will be way after the application date. Yet hopefully before she actually starts in September.
I know it’ll all work out the way it is supposed to, and families move all the time, but it’s the not knowing that keeps me on edge. I’m such a planner. I need information so that I can visualise what is going to happen – even if that is not how it then plays out. But having no idea whatsoever about where we will be located is tough. Maybe I need to look at it a different way and choose where I would like to live and then do everything in my power to get us there. Manifesting once again. I think that might be for the best. If I put my mind to it, imagine us living there and seeing Aurora in a particular uniform in my mind, then it WILL happen. Ok, new challenge, accepted.
Aurora seems to have suddenly matured and grown up so much. The conversations and words that she comes out with are amazing and hilarious in equal measure. Her teacher came out at the end of Pre School today laughing and saying to me ‘I love your daughter; she really does come out with the funniest things’. Apparently, she had said to her, ‘Mrs Robbins, I’ve got so many memories up there’, whilst tapping her head and looking at her intently. She makes my day, I’m so pleased that she is getting more and more confident there, so they get to see it as well. She’s brilliant.
At dinner today she suddenly looked sad and said that in class the teachers were getting them to sing ‘5 fat sausages’, and she looked at me and said, ‘But that’s not nice, we don’t say fat, so I said sizzling sausages.’ I cried. What an absolute sweetheart.
She has become so caring towards Luna, and keen to teach her new things as much as she can. She loves pretending that Luna is her little baby, or doll, which is strange timing because Luna is now so much bigger, and other than talking, she is almost as capable as Aurora at doing everything physically. But still Aurora drags her round by her arm at every possible opportunity, pretends to do her hair and make-up, and Luna simply sits and allows it all to happen.
Luna has entered a bit of a tantrum phase which is testing. I’m sure it is linked to when they get to the stage of wanting to communicate more, but not yet having all the words or ability to do so. She is getting so much better, more and more words each week, and she looks so proud of herself when she says a new one, even if it barely sounds like the intended word, to her it is perfect. But on the flip side, she can absolutely lose her mind at the drop of a hat, over seemingly nothing and there’s no consoling her. We are getting a real insight in to what the teenage years are probably going to look like. Nothing you can do or offer her seems to work. At least when Aurora did/does that, 9 times out of 10 she wants a cuddle. Luna doesn’t want you anywhere near her, but also gets worse if you leave her alone. I’m sure we’ll figure it out, and find something that works, but the process is tiring.
We got our Autumn and Halloween bits down from the loft yesterday, and I took the opportunity to also get down some of Aurora’s old toys, as well as the rest of the 18–24-month clothes and shoes. I took the last of the summer dresses out of Luna’s wardrobe, and anything else that was 12-18 months. Not specifically because she had grown out of it, but just for a refresh and to make room for the bigger clothes. They are more autumnal which I’m sure we will need from this week onwards.
From the toys that we got down, Luke and I went through them with Aurora, and she picked out a few things that she wanted to give Luna as Christmas presents. I thought this would be a nice way of getting Aurora involved in the ‘giving’ side of the occasion, as well as recycling toys we already have, instead of buying new ones we essentially do not need. Aurora really got into it. She does seem to share my love for passing belongings on to others so they can be enjoyed again.
I saw a tip before Christmas last year, about if you have difficulties with children ‘wanting’ everything when you go shopping, to take a photo of them holding it and tell them that they can send the photo to Father Christmas or write it on their wish list, whichever suits your style. It honestly saves so much drama, Aurora took this as a fact, and we have actually been doing it all year. Obviously, it has ramped up recently as she knows that her birthday and Christmas are getting closer, but the photos I have of her holding these items are some of my favourite photos of her. The pure joy and excitement in her face. I think they might be some of the most genuine smiles I have pictured of her. Also, it’s great if you need inspiration for gifts, as you have these photos to look back on. And realistically, she won’t remember half the things that have been photographed, but it has made it a lot easier to put it back on the shelf and move on! Highly recommend!
Bedtimes over the past week have been a dream. The girls seem to have got into the routine that I have been creating, and even better than that, I’ve been putting Luna down with her bottle, and leaving the room. The key has been saving her milk until I put her in bed, whereas before I was giving it to her while we read the stories, and she was either done with it, or starting to get that way by the time I then put her in bed, so this seems to have had an impact. Even if she then cries out and I go back up, it’s been a lot smoother and quicker, so I’m really hoping this is a sign of things to come now.
Aurora has been better as well. Happy to listen to a few stories on her storyteller, and usually drops off on her own while they play. Occasionally she will call me back up a few times, but I think she genuinely prefers to go to sleep on her own, so most of the times that she calls me back up, she ends up saying that she wants me to go back downstairs so she can do it alone.
We’re really working on some of the things she says, or the way she says them, as a few times she told me to ‘go away’, but once I said that that was unkind, she apologised and corrected herself by saying that she just wanted some alone time. This is a phrase that we have used a few times over the past couple of weeks, and she has started using it during the day occasionally as well. Sometimes if Luna wants to play with/near her, Aurora will start to get frustrated and then stop herself and say she wants some alone time. I think that is huge, and if we can continue to build on that, she should hopefully have some strong foundations and coping mechanisms. I know I need to take a leaf out of her book sometimes! I will keep attempting to practice what I preach.
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